There's probably nothing we could do to be together
Star-crossed lovers and all
But my heart aches a little more
Constricts me makes it hard to breathe
For when I think of you holding another's hands instead of mine
Listening to someone else's stories like you had mine
Ruffling her hair instead of mine
Looking at her with so much love
Yes my heart skips a beat,
Though I know you'll never be mine
It still hurts

-

And each time you whispered you loved me
The words almost carelessly spewed out
You left me wondering
Was it ever me or was it the someone you fought so hard to forget
All the while promising me always
Each time you told you missed me
Warmth spread with a hint of icy prick
Was it me or the distraction I offered
One day, you fled
You'd made up your mind
It was always that someone
Said you didn't want to hurt me
I almost laughed at the irony
Vulnerable as I was, you didn't think a moment to plunge the knife right in
Right where it hurt the most
The sore wound you tried to heal!

-

I look at your face,
The pretty one, with the sparky eyes
Now so dull, it's lost it's life
I see the smile you plaster with effort
I want to walk up to you
Shake your shoulders
Ask you to spill what's wrong
Instead, I walk away remembering
You walked away from me — % &

-

Feels like I'm in midst a whirlwind
Caught in between
Moving too fast
Seems like just yesterday I was running around my home
Escaping my mom's calls to eat food
Or the times when my dad would teach me how to tie my shoelaces
Ever so patient he was, when I couldn't read the time for the 100th time
Now it feels like I've outgrown my favourite shoe
That I still want to be able to wear though
Still that tender innocent child at heart
Not willing to outgrow my mom's lap or my dad's shoulders
But grown up so fast
The world expects me to be an adult
But I'm still the small bubbly child inside
I want to scream, my birthday passes and they think I've aged more every year
But still inside I'm young as ever
Miss doing those things kids could do and get away
Miss those times when life's biggest problem was not knowing my favourite colour,
Feels like I've grown up too fast,
A part of me still yearns to ride on my dad's shoulders, I could see the world far and wide
Still want to fall down and scrape my knees learning to ride
Seems like I've grown up too fast
Some of me is still stuck in my past
That child I was is still here, just too scared of the world which thinks I've grown up— % &

-

When I waited ever so fervently
For my phone to ping
When I've not liked the sound of my notifications much before
When your messages automatically bring a smile to my face
The one which reaches my eyes
I knew I was a goner in love

-

I happen to remember your birthday
Like a neon sign flashing wildly in the dark
Vaguely bothered about whether you'd remember me anyway
Times changed and promises broken
Trust too fragile to be built again and distance too far to reach out
Our memories cloud my head
Hopeless heart reminds me of the way your brown eyes sparkled in the sun in that one particular photograph
I choke on my tears, wanting this nightmare to stop replaying in my mind
You, akin to the blazing sun - all too powerful to just ignore
Still there's a fervent foolish hope
That somedays your heart reminds you of me
Like a slow painful stab churning in the deep pit of my heart
I remind me our paths would never cross anymore.
Love, I wonder when did we fall apart like 2 perfect puzzle pieces
Meant to fit perfectly but now, forever apart.

-

No matter how much I try
Thoughts of you wouldn't forsake me
Even after you're gone, your words linger in my heart,
Tried convincing it, saying it's all nothing but sweet lies
I just got played it meant nothing in the end,
Obstinate as I am, I remember vividly the way your voice was as sweet as a bird's song
Choking on words, nervous
It still rings clear the way you said you liked me,
Left me breathless for a minute
Feeling so fortunate,
But I didn't know that time you took me to be a fool,
Toying with my feelings and discarding them with no remorse when you were done using me for support,
You made me trust again, slow and steady
For even a second I wouldn't have not believed you
Made me confess my deepest fears
Stripped me and made me spill my insecurities
You dragged me to hell, left me there
But it didn't hurt as much as the taste of your betrayal,
A thousand knife stabs couldn't compare the hurt you made me go through
All the while promising you'd be there and whispering it's alright,
I berate myself how could I be so blind and naive,
As if a bucket of cold water is emptied on me,
I wake up from my reveries of you,
Where you're still as sweet as you pretended to be.

-

Maybe someday I'd forget the way your eyes sparkle when you're excited
Maybe someday I'd forget the way your smile lit up your face when you were happy
Maybe someday I'd forget the way your voice goes so deep and the slight tremor when you're nervous
Maybe someday I'd forget your sweet lies
Your charming words
Maybe someday I'd forget the way you made my heart flutter
Maybe someday I'd forget your empty promises that means a little too much
Maybe someday I'd forget the plans you made and left before it could begin
Maybe someday I'd stop hurting when I randomly remember you
Maybe someday I'd be able to listen to your favorite song without tears wetting my cheeks
Maybe someday I wouldn't hate you as much
Maybe someday I'd pass a day without your thoughts
Maybe someday I won't miss you anymore,
Maybe someday my heart would stop rewinding your words and memories like a broken record
Maybe someday, what you did wouldn't hurt as much
But until then, I'm here suffering for the love I poured in you selflessly,
Fool I was, to heal you while I was broken.
Maybe someday...you'd be nothing more than a fading memory.

-

There are dreams I want to achieve
Songs my soul wants to sing
Journeys to complete before I rest
Places to go
Before my body turns ash
Feels like I'm stuck in a cocoon,
Drifting apart with the whims of the wind
Fearful of the things I never thought I'd fear
New challenges everyday
Time is ticking like a bomb everyday
My fantasies are stacked against merciless ticking clocks
So want to break through this invisible jail I'm in
No way out yet, pressure builds in,
As if life doesn't know I'm claustrophobic,
There needs to be a way out of this labyrinth.

-

She was a big sunflower
Nothing like the roses everyone falls for
And you were no exception.
Coming into her life, when she had given up on love
You showed her a flicker of hope
Maybe there was hope for someone like her
Totally unlike the beautiful rose,
Everyone seems to go after,
For a few days, she'd let her mind wander,
How it would feel to be loved by you,
Her once barren heart now filling with hope to the brim,
There's a distant voice mocking her, for even a second to think,
If someone like you, would like a sunflower like her,
Shushing it, she rejoiced, finally she'd found someone who liked her as she was
How wrong she was, for when your words changed
If words could kill, I swear it'd be lying as daggers piercing her broken and bruised heart,
For all she knew, she was a sunflower,
Wilting, dying a slow but peaceful death,
But you showed her love,
And you forsaked her, which of her actions deserve such cruelty she mused,
Resigned, now she dies a painful death,
Knowing how the promise of love could have tasted,
Yearning, wanting to yell, for even a minute, was she not worth it?
Was a sunflower like her not good enough to be loved like a rose?

-