Lately me.... and my Lifestyle.....

Hearing songs, cooking ( once in a while)......
Hearing songs, planting.....(not watering properly though).....
Hearing songs, baking.... (Only on compulsion)
Hearing songs, lying......(floor,bed, bean bag, whereever possible to stuff me)......
Hearing songs, staring......(windows, ceiling, blocked chat pages or just my bedroom shelves)
Hearing songs, Crying......(mostly not knowing what for)
Hearing songs, Cleaning......(the whole house for 500th time)
Hearing songs,Realigning...(Changing the stuffs to the place where it was just one month back)
Hearing songs, Sleeping ......(never at night though)
Hearing songs, scrolling....... ( mostly installing, uninstalling and reinstalling)
Praying to God....(Mostly Scolding, fighting, arguing, begging, sulking...)
Binge watching FRIENDS for the 5th time..

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Those pecks you once planted between my brows,
Is the sole reason why I wait for tomorrows......

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Steller smile,
Seductive voice,
Colloquial accent,
Furnished fingernails,
Brushy curly hair,
Raw scent of you,
silly jokes,
Funny philosophies,
Re-Readable chat pages.......

Things that relished, survived, lived for...
Things that were the source of ecstasy....
Now that you are not there...
I have none to relish, nothing to re-read, no moments to relive.....
There is no essense for survival...
There is nothing to brew Ecstasy......
Day by day the soul deteriorates as there is nothing to consume like you......

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Write all that can't be lived..
Also write all that you lived....

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Regret to live....

Regret is the fuel that burns most of us to do the right thing. Regret distinguishes good from bad for us. Regret gives the whole new perspective of the people we left, the job we left, the school we left, the words that are left from our mouth etc.... Regret makes us try new things. Also prompts us to do the same old thing in a better way. Regret is the only thing that brings the sparks to be a better human alive. Regret is good. Regret is a necessity. Regret is charming. Regret is the lubricant that runs the hell lot of boring life without breaking down. So if you are regretful be grateful.... Because you are still alive...

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Slept as soon as I hit my bedding the whole month. Came home after 11:30 thrice.Went on a date with a girl. Watched VTV in theatre. Travelled in SETC bus in a very crumpled way which kindled a figment of old memories with my father. Bathed in pump set which reminds good old days with Mom. Returned from a book fair not buying a single book. Wished someone through letter. My blood got rejected for the first time. Self driven 5 hours. Cried while watching someone getting married. Exchanged contact with a guy(uncle to be frank 😉) even before knowing the name. Slept in three different houses. Fed by three different Mom and two sisters. Made a hell lot of conversation with PPL I met for the first time. Bumped into an auto. Subscribed Sun Next just to watch one movie ( Bala, Varsha🫣 sorry couldn't control). Deleted a number which was on the list of favourites for 5 years. Cut cake on the street on my bday. Kept caller tune after ages. Got rejected for dinner date by an unexpected person. The only biological connection that is around did not wish on bday. Bike got punctured for the first time.(4 puncture in same tire😇).Joined gym(one thing I always hated). Even wrote an erotic poem🤤.

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Old version of Me:

Do I belong here?
Would I belong there?
Might have belonged here if i hadn't done that...
Would have belonged there if i had done it....

Enlightened version of me:

I belong everywhere...
Wherever I bed is my home...
Whomever I share a meal with is my people..
If you want me I will belong!
Incase you don't I will be gone!
Coz..
The only place I truly belong is a house of Jewish carpenter or wherever he resides!

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வெயிலும் இல்லை,பனியும் இல்லை!
உறைய வைக்கும் குளிர் காற்று இல்லை,
ஆயினும் இரவு போர்வை இன்னும் களையப்படவில்லை!
உருக்கிவிடும் அனல் காற்று இல்லை,
இருப்பினும் ஆடை மேல் ஆடைக்கு அவசியமில்லை!
கார்கால கொடுங்கோலமில்லை! கனமான ஆடைகளின் அழுத்தமில்லை!
உயிர் உறிஞ்சும் உச்சி வெயிலும் இல்லை!
இயல்பு வாழ்க்கை பாதிக்காத ஒரு சுகமான வானிலை!
இதம் சேர்க்கும் பருவ நிலை!
இதனால் நித்தம் மயங்கும் மனநிலை!
சுகமாய் சுடும் சூரியன்!
சிலிர்க்க வைக்கும் சிறு பனி காற்று!
சிந்தை மயக்கும் தெளிந்த வானம்!
சிலு சிலுவென பொழியும் மரித்த இலைகள்!
சிரிப்புடன் செல்லும் மனிதர்கள்!
என அனைத்தும் இதம் இப்பருவத்தில்......
தாயின் மடிப்போல!
காதல் குரல் போல!
காத்திருப்பின் ஏக்கம் போல!
பருவ மாறுபாட்டுக்கு இடையில் வரும் ஒரு சிறு பருவம்!
ஒவ்வொரு நாளும் புத்துயிர் தரும் ஒரு சுகப்பருவம்!
வெயிலை நோக்கி பயணிக்கும் பனியின் முடிவுப் பருவம்!
ஆண்டில் மிகவும் பிடித்த ஒரு 20 நாள் குறும் பருவம்!

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Neither sad....nor mad....
Never cried... never grieved.....
Longed yet never missed.....
Yearned yet never wished you were here......
Stumbled without you.. yet never crumbled...
But Lately.... Lately....
Something tormenting,deteriorating, agonizing my heart...soul and my whole being....
Not big bully things....
But fricking silly things....
Like when i always always requesting even for a coffee. Never demanding. Not even once...
When i always leave my appraisal letters in office drawer....
When i realise that i never get to spend a penny on you... I could never buy my favourite and your favourite things for you.....
Silly things like this ascending the void you left with your departure.....
A void that never be filled....
A place that is irreplaceable by anyone else....
A melancholy that never could be cured.....

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Be Human first...
Humanity is the vital trait which has to kept above all others. Which religion you belong, which country you were born, which dialect you speak, which caste you adress yourself, which skin colour you have.You didn't happen to choose all these... These all given at free of cost by God and your parents by birth. So if you boasting and being proud of these traits, that's fine. But when you hurt someone just because they are born in a different territory, just because they speak different language, just because they call that same god in a different name, when you look down on somebody for the colour of their skin,
When you mistreat someone just coz they are not of your caste... You have lost your right to be a human. You could be a proud tamilian, Christian, Indian, Nadar, White or anything of that matter.. But you are just an animal who lost the 6th sense by keeping some human created traits above humanity..... All other things are created by human to be a better human to be a better civilian to live a better life... So be human first.....

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