Beginning Life in the Edge of the Silver Spoon

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The Breaking Point
(Please See Below)









































To have people
To which I can talk
To have my career
Moving and thought
To know the day
Is long but sure
Full of life
And hope shall endure
Butter ends come
And did all at once
All my dice loaded
Falling on board apart
List in the puzzle
Taking piece by piece
Before next moves completed
A new playing piece
Me, my own pawn now
I dust her off quite well
Asking her to move
She releases her past questioning me
Keep going!
I say
Where!
She exclaims
It's not over until the fat lady sings
I say
Bravely she finds new doors
New keys
And into original destination
She is walking free.

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When tears fall
Guilt and anger,
Collapse frightens

When rivers flow
Clean and flowing,
Beauty inspires

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Dear God,
You see me.
You know me.
Yet, I know not of me you see
Do you see my efforts
My work as a human
Do you see my heart
And when I face
Each changing task
Each day of change
Do you see me walking
Do you see me hoping
To make my actions spring change
For without you my efforts fail
My hope is wasted
Your hand to guide
My feet walking
To be the person I see in me
The one I am today and tomorrow
Me being me
In a world spinning into oblivion
Never letting you go
You my God
I let go of people
I let go of toxicity
I let go of demanding

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To be able to know
I loved my family well
To be caring, to offer encouragement
To console, as is my career
To know in my heart
My work of my heart
And the notes I must complete
My every correspondence
Complete and enough
What could make me happier,
Nothing.

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Thoughts lately
On my many writings
Notes and letters
All my life
Journals tucked away and found again
My way of squirreling away my thoughts
Into cubbies and old drawers
What will they find when I'm gone
Yes, when I'm gone.
My hope is they find my love
Still holds them tight
That they know on their loneliest nights
That I chose them,
Even after enduring the pain of loss
I chose them
When they know the pain
May they know I loved them through the same hurt,
No matter what.
May they know love never dies
My child, I chose you to love every day
My husband today, I still choose you
My parents
My friends
Please know, I always chose love
For those that left me,
To those I thought a friend
But not so much in the end
My hope is for you to be happy
To be healthy
To be safe and loved
For those who hate me,
Should you for whatever reason
I wish you love

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Where my sorrow meets my greatest joy
Your eyes searching for my response
To your latest dire need
Your latest desperation
In your eyes only I can fix
Seeing through the glass
I have trembled
Stood firmly and calmly
Seeing now more clearly
The web of deception
You first spin for yourself
Presented to me
Your chaos
I reject
Hope springs eternal
Well, obviously, I never stop.
But, now, I stop feeding you your lies
I stop quenching foolish thirst
For the things you create from chaos
Are brief mirages
I see that now.
I cannot go back.
Now, you may grow.
Beautiful child of my heart.

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Menopause, Empty Nest, and What it Means to Me!

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Perhaps they are in the exact moment
Playing and dreaming of their life
Among their people
Sought hard by pain and strife
Perhaps I, ignored momentarily,
Able to breathe and know peace

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Maybe this is where I find my song

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