I was only pretending to try, I wasn't really trying my best. I was only putting up an act, pretending to work hard but I always knew that it was a charade and that I always doubted myself and for that reason I never really tried my best. I never gave it my all. Everything I did, I did half-heartedly, even the things I cared about. And I kept talking on and on about how I wasn't seeing results. But I was only trying physically, I wasn't putting any mental effort. I wasn't trying to focus. I wasn't trying to think clear. It takes much more to do that, and I just wanted to have it easy. I never gave it my all, I was just fascinated with the idea of being who I wanted to be. I never had the resolve to actually follow through. But I promise now, that I will stop doubting myself and I will do nothing less than what it takes.. to be who I want to be. I will give it as much as possible. So, let's start right here, from scratch!
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