One of my friend well not a friend says i have changed no I haven't I am still trying hard to change to be an arrogant asshole that people think I am. People come and go as they please ,they talk as they please, then they have audacity to say that I have changed no I haven't. I just have closed the doors for them they no longer can come and go. I have become silent very silent that it has been haunting for me. So dont come back knocking making noise i wont open it.

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My liberation Notes
I have always been critical of idea of god or any subsequent supernatural entity that is mostly used to control and exert power. But I found something strange while looking for answers i.e. I found devotion. I found those people fascinating which were devoted not towards any entity but devoted towards a person or art.I admire craft in any form and people who spent their lives for their craft especially the musicians. I have a very weird music taste I like music in every language as long it connects. I think its the only thing that trancends and breaks the matrix and makes us think about purpose ,meaning of life. I think if there were god he will be a musician.

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What I miss!
is the more simple things ,
The last meet up, the last move on,
The last time I clicked you sleeping,
The fuzzy face ,the hungry yawn,
The last biryani and that barf,
The last gifts, the red cup and white scarf,
What I Miss!
Just a picture of your feet in a shoe,
The fall, the winter, the colors of hue,
The food, the laughter, the bitching without a clue,
The parties, the dances, the dates that are due ,
I miss the last poetry written about you.

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पहले नदी मेरे घर तक आती है,
अब सड़क मेरे घर तक आती है,
नदी का आना,
सड़क के आने से कई बेहतर है।

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The Murky Waters
I wonder and thought about this,
I have searched it everywhere,
In the silent mountains,
The Deepest valleys,
The back alleys of forgotten bookstores,
In the jazz clubs of harlem,
In the clandestine bordello of old city ruins,
Still i could never find it,
I couldn't find it my whole life,
It's murky, it's messy,
Its grey , it's eternal damnation
To see things broken.

- the Unpopular Poet

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I constantly live in fear of life as it is.
I daily sleep in night hoping that next day I dont have wake up and live in this world of redundancies.I am so much pain I want to take the skin of my face so that I dont remember it.
My life is not so bad It is just lonely.
May be all these thoughts are tricks that my mind is playing on me but it hurts so much that there is no soul in this world that I can share these thoughts with .

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The Regret
The biggest regret I have is talking to people ,making friends and looking for peace in people rather than in art.

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The Letter to my bestie

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Dear Books,
You have been an important part of my life since I have known words.In this ever changing world around me your words were the only thing that stayed. I still remember the first stories like 'Kaki' and panchtantra.This generation will never know the joy of Reading .I just started reading books because of boredom and just because I could read. The stories of magazines like 'champak' ,'saras salil' and the comics would draw me in their hypothetical world.Thats how I started my journey in World of literature.It was a never ending journey although I have slowed but never stopped exploring this world.This world told me the power of words and human Imagination .When people say words have changed the world i think they have.I think Books are living being they have evolved just like any other living things.They show happiness,grief,joy,thrill.They also feel loneliness so next time dont make them feel lost just grab a book and start reading.

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कहीं किसी के चारों तरफ है दरिया,
कहीं किसी शख्स को पानी चाहिए,
कोई खरीदता नहीं खाली पन्ने,
यहां हर किसी को कहानी चाहिए,
किसे सब्र है कि इंतज़ार करे रात भर,
सभी को नींद जल्दी आनी चाहिए,
आज बस इश्क होना काफ़ी नहीं उससे,
इश्क में भी अब रवानी चाहिए,
यहां शेर लिख देने भर से कोई नफा नहीं,
यहां लफ्जों को इक मा'नी चाहिए।

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