I hate Autumns.
It makes letting go
look easy.

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When I turn back,
more than our laughter,
my tears have painted our relationship red.
Yet,I'm convincing myself,
that I'm at fault.
So that I can come back to you
And get hurt again.
Without you no success is sweet.
I know you want me gone.
Finally, I'm letting you free.
Cause this is all you want.

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I'm sitting in my room.
The ceiling fan right above my head. The air's hitting my face directly.
It's perfect. It is...
The headphones on my ears.
Music volume full up the range.
My eyes are closed.
I'm thinking. Of you. Of life. Of tomorrow.
Thinking way too much. Wish I could stop...it's hurting.
I'm bleeding from within.
It's unbearable. And yet I continue.
The air drying away my slow tears.
The music's giving me company.
More like keeping me from feeling lonely.
I wanna die. I fucking wanna forget all this.
This life. You. Myself. Everything!!!
Just want to disappear forever!!!
Will anyone care? I don't know. I don't want to know. It doesn't matter.
I just...I just want people to forget that I ever existed.
Can we start all over again?
I know we can't. It's the way of life. I don't feel right.
And yet I try to convince myself that all of this is normal.
It happens my dear...I tell myself.
I have changed. It's not the real me anymore. And it hurts!
All of this fucking hurts like hell.
But I believe in myself. I can bear it.
Trust me, you can...the soul whispers.
Overthink my dear...the heart again wins.

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. . . .

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Life is all about
forgetting and forgiving;
moving on and letting go.

-

-

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keeping all that's worth holding.
And if it's worth holding,
they would be holding on
to you....
too!

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