We started the journey in the afternoon. There were four of us including Sid. I had succeeded in getting the consent of other two friends to come with me. Sid, of course had to come because without him I would be lost in the unknown place. Everybody was excited, for different reasons though. Little did we know that this journey would affect our lives so much that it would change our relationships forever. All the way Sid was praising Aseema and how lucky I am to have her in my life, not knowing the fact that I know everything. All these while I was only observing Sid. I could see the sadness behind those smiles. We reached Nathia in the evening. It was a small station, adjacent to which there was college where Sid and Aseema completed their schooling. The plan was to spend the night there and meet her next day in the morning. Her place was little far from there and as there was a little communication facility available, she could only come in the morning.
Next day we were all waiting at the station much before the scheduled time. Finally the moment arrived. And I saw her for the first time walking down the steps of that railway bridge.
To be continued...-
She was running. Her feet were bare and banging against the ground with all the force she had. Her sweat was continuously flowing down to her eyes through the forehead making her vision blur. Her long hair was flying in the air like the tail of a kite. She was running like a deer runs while trying to escape from a tiger. Suddenly I came across her way. And she, without thinking hugged me as tightly as she could. I also embraced her. At the next moment I loosened my grip and moved back. There was fear in my eyes and despair in hers.
My eyes shot open before I crashed. I was panting heavily. Took a sip of water, lowered the temperature of the AC and looked at the my watch. It's 3.45 AM. 'Could only sleep for an hour. It's been six years. Still the same face; still the same dream.
To be continued...-
" When I gained my consciousness I found myself lying on a bed in a small room. It was closed from the outside. How much time was I unconscious? There was no way to know the time also. Suddenly my heartbeat got increased. Oh my god! What if he had done something to me when I was unconscious. No, no! I touched my lower part nervously. A drop of tear rolled down my cheeks. "Oh god! Thank you." I exhaled. I was still feeling dizzy. I heard someone opening the door. I shrunk. A middle aged fat woman was staring at me. " Don't worry. After the marriage tomorrow we will call your parents. They will take you home." She said. I could only manage to say washroom. She took me outside the house. I pushed her aside and started running. I was running with all the energy in my body without any destination, thought or direction. I was just running. I don't know how much time I ran. I stopped when I saw a police station.
After that day my life changed completely. I rarely go outside. I don't talk much. I started teaching children. The man who kidnapped me still calls to my house and threatens. But it doesn't affect me at all." She stopped.
To be continued...-
It was before the college function. I was editing the contents for the magazine when I found a piece of short prose written by one of my friends. That's where I saw her name "Aseema". After going through the prose I instantly went to his room.
"Who is this girl?" I asked.
"Which girl? What are you talking about?" My friend's sudden response.
"Oh, As if you don't know. The girl who, you have written about in your prose or story, whatever."
" How do you know it's real? It can be a fiction."
"Don't lie to me. Now tell me about her."
He started narrating her story, most of it in detail. And that's when I fell for her. Was it love at first sight? Or just a sympathetic attraction? That's where I did my first mistake by assuming it's not.
To be continued...-
Lying on my bed still, I tried to recollect the memories. Well I do it all the time. Despite all these nightmares I never really try to stop remembering. I never tried to forget her. May be it's some kind of proxy for relief I give to myself for my unatoned sin.
And the first picture that came to my mind was of a simple shy girl disappearing at the bend of the road keeping her heads down, constantly looking at the ground. No she didn't look back that day.
When did I first meet her? Was it when her trembling hands touched mine? Or was it when I saw her for the first time coming down the stairs? Was it the time when I heard her voice? Or was it the first time I read her name?
To be continued...-
I was already crying when she stopped talking. But I didn't show. I didn't say also about the story. I didn't say how I assumed her being raped. I didn't say anything. I just sighed and entombed my hypocrisy inside me.
Days passed and we went very close to each other. Yeah that close that a little moment couldn't slip through the gap between us. And with that my fear also grew more; fear of truth. Truth that I was oblivious to. And then something happened that pushed myself to introspect. Remember Sid, our mutual friend. She told me that he proposed her. I was shocked. She also mentioned he has been trying to defame me in front of her from last few weeks. And she didn't tell me anytime because he was my best friend. But was it his fault really? Love can sneak up on you where you least expect it. And love alone can make any man do anything. I acted like normal in front of Sid as if I know nothing. I was selfish; Isn't everyone, who hasn't been loved back?
Finally that day came, which I always tried to avoid. The day of lies and revelations , commitment and submission.
To be continued...-
" You know Man also belong to the animal race. When it comes to hunger, they can do anything for it. Well hunger can be of different kinds. Different people tried different ways to own me. Some offered money. Yes that still happens. One of them said he would jump from the running train if I said no. And he did it for real. Thank God he was alive. I couldn't sleep for days. And there was this man, who when got rejected by me, threatened to kidnap me. I didn't take it seriously. One day I was returning from our godown to home on my cycle like everyday when suddenly a Maruti van obstructed my path. Before I could understand anything the same man came out of the van, groped me and took me into the van with the help of another person. I tried to scream, but he had pressed his hands on my mouth tightly. I bit his hand with all my force and for a moment a loud cry just emerged and vanished into the air. The last thing I remember after that is a sweet smell flowing through my nose to the entire body making each part lifeless."
To be continued...-
We were having a casual conversation. Suddenly,
"Say it to me now." She said.
"What?" I was confused.
" What you have always longed to hear from me."
I thought for a second. "Haven't I said that many times already?"
"No. Actually you haven't even said once. So say it now."
How come I haven't mentioned it even once? I thought to myself. For a moment everything flashed in front of my eyes; Sid, my other friends, her face (imaginary), her life, my life everything. Self introspection was taking time. And I was unable to reach at a point. I don't know how much time I was lost before she woke me up.
"What happened? You aren't sure! Of course you are. Why am I asking these questions? Idiot."
" I love you!!!!" I uttered the last lie.
" Say it loud. I can't hear you."
" I love you. There are people here. I can't speak louder than this."
" I love you. Love you... continued." And she showered some kisses. All I was thinking what's next.
"You are coming to meet me this weekend Na."
"Yes, obviously. Can't wait more." Lying wasn't a option any more.
To be continued...-
By each passing day we were coming one step ahead towards each other. It was so fast that I couldn't realise when we became best friends. She had told me not to expect anything from her. I said that it wasn't me on the phone call that day. It was one of my friends. She didn't say anything. But I didn't mention about the story Sid has written about her. I was waiting for her to divulge that herself. And finally that day came. It was a hot day and she said that she had to leave for the coaching classes.
" Tell your students to leave today. I am sitting here outside in this hot weather to talk to you and you can't spare some moments from your busy schedule." I said.
" This is the only time I remain happy when I stay with these children. They are my life."
Rest is in the caption...-
"I wasn't always a fun loving girl. But I was happy. You know this little girl who always like to scribble something or to buzz around on her. I was that type, happy without any reason. Being from a sophisticated family, I didn't have much interaction with the outer world. Until one day my father died due to a severe accident. That day changed the course of my life. My elder sister has already been married by then and I don't have any brother. So I had to come out of the house to handle all of my father's business. Certainly I couldn't. I failed miserably. You know, for a girl who has never set her feet outside the house, suddenly handling so much of responsibilities is how difficult. And that's when I came into the lured eyes of many men. You know they were everywhere, always looking for a chance to become a resort of a fatherless girl. And see while I was trying to overcome the grief and deal with this situation, destiny had planned something more for me, something more terrible."
To be continued...-