I don't quite know if you ever knew -
each time I write something new,
I’m hurting, I’m bleeding,
a wordfarmer, I’m seeding,
planting by night, in darkness groping,
positioning thoughts, fervently hoping
that of them all, at least some seeds
will germinate, sprout, somehow succeed,
that all the bleeding will be worth it,
this paper heart, I’ll no longer hurt it,
that the blank cheques I hand out will lapse,
and while I’m grateful for the snaps & the claps,
every single time I take the stage,
or write my name at the bottom of a page
that is filled with words that come from a place
which is deep and is dark and as cold as space.
The transformation of energy that releases light,
the poetic alchemy that turns the dim bright,
takes a toll on my mind & heart & soul -
I started as all me, but I'm no longer whole.

- Sudeep Pagedar