Overweight
Often I wonder how to fit myself,
Into the narrow lane of beauty,
Which the world so warmly appreciates.
But I fail to put myself through the window,
Of the magazine that sets standards of beauty,
The window that blocks women of weight.
My skin is layered with the fats that hugs me,
Ashamed I try to cover myself with a huge sweater,
But I fail to make my face glow like a fairy.
I see the pretty clothes are not designed for me,
When the small sizes makes me regret for my fats,
As I wrap up into some large laces full of loopholes.
People and their criticism follow everywhere I go,
I pretend not to notice even though deep down it hurts,
When they call me names that nudges my naked soul.
Romantic affairs never happen to pass in my life,
For I cannot fit into the image of the hourglass,
And in solitary state I sleep in my own confinement.
I get tired of the stones thrown into my way everyday,
Like everyone wants to shed the fats under my skin,
They don’t see the way they shed my confidence everyday,
When I hate my own body because I am overweight.

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Ernestina’s Skirt
What does Ernestina’s skirt hide?
Does it hide the shame of being a woman?
Maybe her skirt is a shroud over her honour,
But do they place honour in between her legs.
Oh, Ernestina don’t play coy,
Tell us what you hide under your skirt,
Let us explore the treasure you behold,
For we men get hungry to see the pink rose.
That fleshy part deep pink soft petals,
With a cave full of warm lava overflowing,
Come Ernestina let us discover your cave,
And throw some light over our dark sides.
Ernestina so quiet perhaps she has lost her voice,
Or the years of suppression has made her dumb.
Perhaps they reformed her into an ideal lady,
To follow the men in her life as guiding stars.
But Ernestina you must break your silence,
And speak of the chaos you hold deep inside.
Speak for all the women who are lost,
Just like you in the corridors created by men.
Tell us what you hide under your skirt,
Learn to find your voice from within your soul.
Perhaps Ernestina hides the power of creation,
Or the truth that her identity doesn't end in her vagina.

-

There is a hole artfully curved in my chest,
And a raging storm of emptiness peeps inside it.
I wonder what it feels to be complete,
Gasping in between my short verses of poetry.
This lane takes me through the corridor of memories,
Where the sun blessed us with its light.
You lay on my lap on the winter afternoon,
As we wore the small blanket over our bodies.
I remember the smell of your scented shirt,
That scent has stuck to my memory for years.
I see the collapsing bridge between our hearts,
Perhaps it can no longer balance the emotions.
Remember the first time you were attracted to me,
How you inhaled the smell of shampoo on my hair.
You almost took a fistful of my hair when we kissed,
That raw taste of you still lingers in my lips.
Seasons changed when we drifted away,
And autumn days swallowed our romance.
Our first kiss plays like an old movie in my mind,
And like a mad artist I keep repeating my tape.
And the doors of my heart has closed down.
Everything between us seems to collapse,
Leaving behind a fresh smell of our last sex.
The last time when you measured my depths,
Feeding me with a cucumber dipped in love.

-

This wooden box is like my coffin,
But the coffin doesn’t have a door.
So perhaps this is my tiny room,
Or my entrapment from demons.

I knock hard on the door,
And wish the doorknob be turned,
To welcome me back alive,
From this rusty smell of the earth.

I remember how they cried,
The tears that flooded my room,
They wailed at my sudden departure,
For I was the youngest of them.

Only 18 in the maze of life,
Where decades awaited ahead of me.
But sad that virus stole my breathe,
And I left without a final goodbye.

I remember my high school crush,
Sending me bouquets of forget-me-nots,
After I drifted into a deep slumber,
Forgetting everything about my past.

My mother fainted when she saw me gone,
For I was her youngest born,
My father was heart-broken but acted strong,
And carried my mother other way round.

I can see this wooden door,
But hear nobody knocking into it,
For I will lie here for centuries,
Till empires turn back into dust.

The keyhole sheds some faint light,
Over my newly rested body,
And I saw the path to eternity,
Rushing out like dust back into the world.

-

I wish this wasn't so hard,
Two lines at the white sheet,
With afraid faces staring at them.
For the first time something is positive,
Unfortunately which is but the virus not you,
You are slapped back to a container to heal.
And my worst fears comes alive,
I see the demons rushing towards my mind,
This is too much to endure more than I imagined.
Until now I never realised how much,
Is too much love for someone dear to me,
Can this love bring sleepless nights just by worrying?
I knew this is difficult of us,
For I cannot be there to hold you tight,
Caress as you sleep burying head into my bosom.
This saline rivers flows through the plains,
As my hands fold into an invisible prayer,
I ask your well being even at the cost of my lifeline.

-

The morning was sweet with birds chirping,
And the rays of sunlight peeping through the pane,
Leaving a sweet morning kiss on our tired bodies,
Encouraging us to get ready for the new day.
But suddenly something terrible stroke at 7:51,
Our beds shook giving the shock of our life,
People ran holding their lives into little fists,
The earth yelled at the trembling fear it felt.
In fighting a battle of survival against virus,
We hid inside the four halls of our little cages,
But the tremble threw us out of our homes,
And there was no escape in facing our fate.
Perhaps it time for nature to take back everything,
Everything that we stole from the depth of her womb,
And her anger shakes our lives with fear.
Helpless we crawl like spiders blaming destiny,
But do we realize why nature launched this fight against humanity?

-

And there she runs towards the chaos,
Where shadows of past are lurking behind the darkness,
The earth flooded with the warm saline water,
Where happiness is chased away.
I see her through my window pane running,
Into the wilderness by dragging along her heart,
She is fierce like the storm and lightning,
And crazy like the prisoners in the madhouses.
I cannot calm her to ease the burden she holds,
As an aroma of grief plays havoc around her life,
Perhaps she is strangled by her fate,
And autumn enveloped her into its emptiness.
Like a madwoman she shakes the silence,
With a loud fearful ugly laughter.
She weaves an unsaid story of love and loss,
And they call her the mad Juliet.

-

And sometimes words are inadequate to express my feelings,
How come few words can describe the hurricane in my heart,
Words framed in long sentences are nothing but lies,
If you want to know the truth come to me at 2 a.m,
When the whole world snores and drift off to dreamland,
I lay awake under the cover of the stars to see the light,
My heart is like Pandora's box where I hid my scars,
If you want to know come see me after the world falls asleep,
The sounds of the night may interrupt our conversation,
So I choose not to speak a word of the burden inside,
But I will narrate everything to you with my silence,
And you shall understand what I meant when I uttered "LOVE".

-

I am naked,
Laying in his arms,
When he wraps them around me.
I lay topless,
As he drew trails of kisses on my back
While he removed my shirt away.
My exposed skin,
In between his sharp teeth,
When he nibbled my tender breasts.
My body trembling,
With the hot lava oozing out of me.
I was bare bottom,
As he pressed me to his warmth,
Dipping his fingers to check my depth.
I moaned loud,
His mouth enveloping my warm spot,
When he drank to quench his thirst.
My heart raced,
His mouth devouring the peaks of my hills,
Like a baby he suckled my mounds hard.
I realised,
How intoxicating was the experience,
Of visiting unknown lands on his request.
I laid bare my soul,
Sitting in between his thighs,
When he embraced my hidden scars.
Perhaps it's love,
That binds my soul and body to him,
With every thrust that grows deeper in me.

-

Let's catch up someday at midnight,
And wait till the whole world falls asleep,
To leave us alone together under the sky,
While you cuddle me in a big warm hug.
The cold wind of the night will flow,
Like music which will weave love.
When I smile at you in the darknesss,
Will you see my pearl teeth shining?
Let there be old wine and memories,
Where old lovers share their deep secrets.
And cry over everything that went wrong,
Laughing at the silly mistakes committed.
I will embrace you with my warmth,
While you smell the flower in my hair,
I will dig my fingers into your skin,
As if to claim my possession over you.
Let there be love till the hour of dawn,
And if this love flows like blood into me,
I promise to come back to you everyday,
Like the other end of the compass rushing.

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