Something is different this time.
The clouds and the night sky
is trying too hard to hide that truth!
What that is, maybe I would never know!

-

I'd turn out to be the one who
would believe that it was destiny
which caused the wind to push
a falling leaf towards me,
instead of going down!

-

I am floating through this endless tunnel,
like a dandelion seed that knows no direction.
My eyes are kind of used to this darkness,
but still, I'm searching for a speck of light!
And the hope that was left in pandora's box
is the only thing that's making me move forward!

-

I miss making tea for you.
You used to look at me through the side of your eyes
and then whisper that the tea I'd make for you
is the tastiest one.
I miss the playful smile that'd appear
on your face when I finally make it for you.
And then two days later,
you'd be repeating the same dialogue to my younger sister
while looking at me with that same playful smile and a wink.
Now I miss all these small things that I used to take for granted.

-

I wish I could see that small smile of yours again.
The same smile you used to look at us with
after teasing mom to the point that she gets angry.
I miss the way you'd call us all into your room
asking us to talk from there instead of at the kitchen
because you did not want to be alone.
I miss how you would ask us to stay quiet exactly five minutes later,
just because you have to send a WhatsApp audio.
I miss how you used to ask us the lamest questions
and how we had played along with it for your happiness.
I miss the way you'd fall asleep in the middle of us talking and
wake up later by saying you weren't asleep.
I miss it all.
All those small moments and small convos.
And I miss you.
I miss you so damn much.

-

They said we had to keep on living.
And as we laughed and smile,
I thought we were doing okay at being alive.
But then,
at the end of the day,
when your absence hits us hard,
I realised that we were not alive.
We were just living in your memories
while barely holding onto the reality!

-

And I can't stop these questions from coming out?
Like,
Why did you have to leave so suddenly?
Why it felt so unfair to some?
Why do we feel like we need to act strong,
when in inside we are breaking down to the point
where we feel like we do not know what to do anymore?
Why?
Just why?

-

And I won't say that I miss you cause I feel you'll always be there in my memories. Cliché dialogue I know, but isn't it the truth? And I know you won't ever ask me to translate this for you as you had asked with my other writings, but still, I'll keep this here. Like a keepsake to remember you by! I love you!

-

Seems like we all have this wishful thinking
that you'll suddenly appear in front of us,
saying that it was all a joke!

-

I find myself falling into a pit,
As I tried to understand the truth
that you're gone!

-