അത്രയേറെ സങ്കടം തോന്നുന്ന നിമിഷങ്ങളിൽ
ഞാനെൻ്റെ കൈകൾ കോർത്തുപിടിക്കാറുണ്ട്.
ഒറ്റക്കായില്ലെന്ന് തോന്നിക്കാൻ,
എനിക്ക് ഞാനുണ്ട് എന്ന്
പറയാതെ പറയാൻ.

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The saddest thing is
When you waste the best quotes
On the wrong people.

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I hope you remember me

Everytime someone talks about road trips
I hope you remember me
Everytime you wear those butterfly earrings
I hope you remember me
Everytime you crave pizza and fries
I hope you remember me
Everytime someone clicks a photo of you
I hope you remember me
Everytime someone ask you about love
I hope you remember me
Like a book you bought years ago
Yet never read

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To the people I lost

I still remember the last time we talked
I still remember the last time we made fun of each other
Little did we know, that how the tables would turn
And we will end up like this,
Not being able to extend a conversation beyond 'Hi or How are you?'
Is it just me,
Or do you still sit at the window thinking about me,
Like I think about you
Like I wonder what you would be doing
Whether you're happy or not
I do miss you
More than you can ever imagine
But Nah,
I'll keep it to myself
Just like every other time

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I don't want to go back
Not that I like where I am now,
But going back to the same place which broke you into million pieces,
Seems pointless in this moment of time.
Yes, there were so many good memories, so many good people.
Yet, when you think about it the only thing comes to your mind is
just pain, Sheer, cold pain.
After all, choosing pain over pleasure never felt this hard before.

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Circa 2018

I didn't have preferences back then.
I used to take whatever I was given.
Be it vodka, whiskey or cheap rum,
I had no complaints.
Be it ghosting, taking advantage, or breadcrumbing,
I wanted them to stay.

Present day

Whiskey on the rocks, self respect,
healthy boundaries and self love
Nothing less
Nothing more

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Maybe this is how
Things should end
Abrupt
No closure
No goodbyes
Leaving hope and
No hope at the same time

-

Even though you never made it to my usual Insta stories,
You were all over the poems I wrote.
And
You will be the story I tell someday.
The one I could never write down.

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നമ്മൾ


ഓർമ്മിക്കുവാൻ തക്കവണ്ണം
ഒന്നുമുണ്ടായിരുന്നില്ല

എന്നാൽ

മറക്കാതെയിരിക്കാൻ മാത്രം
എല്ലാം ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു

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Hey, it's me again
Hope you're doing well

I got a notification in my phone today
It was from Google photos

It read
'Rediscover this day - 6th August 2018'
Throwback to that day we went to
CCD for the first time together

I still remember,
How much you liked that cappuccino
Instead of the iced coffee you ordered
And made that cute cappuccino moustache.

I still have those photos
Helping the memories not to fade away

Still missing you
But not wishing you were here

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