I had been of the understanding that happiness is a relative thing, like if you are not sad, then you are happy kinda thing. But then I started noticing a peculiar overwhelming sensation at times, which I deemed to be happiness. I am not particularly sure if this is what everyone thinks or just me, this sensation absolutely scares me. I am okay with being neutral, am absolutely at ease with being sad, but I find happiness churning away at my insides. What I have deduced after long hours of being stuck inside my head is that it scares me because of what might follow it. We have from time immemorial been conditioned to believe that too much happiness is unequivocally followed by sadness; we have been cautioned to an extent of dread. Is that necessary? It's a may or maynot be. But due to this anxious conditioning, we don't get to enjoy what we actually have. This is one among the few things that I am trying to unlearn - to finally experience happiness without a sense of dread accompanying it.
-
Superimposed on an empathetic soul,
Loves m... read more
You remember the time when the world wouldn't let you be yourself. You struggled, you cried, you yelled out, you fought back, you fell silent, you became numb, and finally you were completely drained out of every fight you had. That was when you understood it was neither something to be taken or snatched from someone nor was it something to be given by someone. You just had to let go of the world; it was always within you. Time rushes by, now you are so used to being yourself, you don't even remember the struggle anymore. Then you see a young girl go through the same, you empathize, but it is a battle she has to emerge victorious alone. You smile at her, silently telling her it's okay, she will get there one day, some day.
-
Sadness has almost always been a perpetual tagalong for me. For a protracted period, I resented it and I sought out happiness anywhere I could find- pizza, pepsi, people, places. I craved happiness, I missed it, I wanted it, I needed it, but rarely got it. Then one fine day, a soul told me you seem to enjoy the sadness you carry with you. Enlightenment struck- yes, I did. Whatever happened, my sadness never betrayed me. Most of the things I love had made me cry and that's one of the reasons why I love them. I love songs that can make me shed tears, I love the films that make me curl on my bed and sob my heart out, I love the authors who can drive a knife into my heart with words. Once I have accepted my sadness, I have found solace in it, I am even learning to be happy with it. What a conundrum!!!
-
There are words bleeding in my mind
Jumbled, detached and lost.
The string of connection nowhere to be found
Floating around searching a way out.
The doors are tightly sealed trapping all,
But an incessant need to be let free.
-
Somehow I lost my words,
In the depths of my mind,
In the crevices of my soul,
In the dark corner of my heart!
-
I am so used to being without you that every moment of being with you feels like a luxury.
-
When I am crumbling to pieces,
The unprecedented sorrow cuts me deep.
Somehow I find my way to the stairs,
The kryptonite to my gloom awaits.
All I need is your hug.
Frustrated at the world for being unfair
And at not letting me be myself,
Feeling angry and despondent, I scream.
I hear the rustling of sheets and I sigh.
All I need is your hug and the world is already a better place.
Happiness surges through me in waves,
I dance around the room singing off tune,
Loving the mood in which I get so rarely,
I look around and realise it's still incomplete.
All I need is your hug and nothing's ever been more peaceful.
Whatever mood I am in or however I feel,
All I ever need is your hug and nothing more or nothing less.
-
When I say I miss you,
It is the comfort of your arms around me that I crave.
When I say I miss you,
It is the goofy faces of yours that I yearn to see.
When I say I miss you,
It is the cute smile you give me when I give you spontaneous hugs, that I covet.
When I say I miss you,
It is the 'all is right in the world feel' when I have you beside me
while sleeping that I pine after.
When I say I miss you,
It is the affection you shower on me without a care of the world around us that I need.
When I say I miss you,
It says everything else - I need you, I want you, I can't live without you, you are my favourite.
When I say I miss you,
I mean I miss you more than I love you.
-
Life as a writer requires extreme patience. It never brings forth instant gratification for you. It's a painfully slow burning process. Even if you start writing at the age of 5, there is a high chance that you wouldn't get recognition even at 50. But if you are a dancer or a painter, people can't just unsee it when you post a video or a snap. However, they can completely skip out on reading your write-up or book. It's not even about receiving appreciation for your work, it's about atleast giving it a chance to touch your heart. So If a writer one day decides to give up on his/her passion, remember to let him/her go. Sometimes, it is not worth it.
-