i.
The unbound sky
calm
serene 
full of chattering life, flying 
gliding without any fear, 
no rules, no path 
watching them bicker, hearing them chit chatter
lying down knowing one of them might aim at me
beaks pointed, yet I close my eyes 
some tip toe towards me 
few pigeons, hasty crows, dum dum squirrels 
6:30 it is, shades change in the sky 
blue is merging 
blue I choose often 
Eyes close, instincts pick the clue
Once in a while I stay late, watch them blend 
Somedays when time's not on crunch 
I sleep on the terrace facing the blue sky 
all on my own 

-

Blue line i see
A blue line in the sky
Just above the horizon, submerged by the clouds
The blue line peeks at me, a little sly

Ray of hope they say
But the blue line is all i see
A beginning to storm free evenings
Calm and serene after a tough hay day

With him by my side i see the sky again
Hands intertwined, us on the floor
He points at the line as drops drizzle on us
And he turning towards me to give me a peck

Blue line winks at me as it starts to grow
Pushing away the clouds to make room for the bow
Satiated i snuggle in his arms a bit more
Sleeping a slumber in breeze forevermore

-

A little shiver runs through me thinking of the uncertainities
What to leave and what do i hold on to
Little quiver of strings
Feel submerged, I feel literal chills
Hold on my life feels slippery
As this feeling of unmitigated fear looms ahead
Masking every niche

Is it worth it? I fumble
Am i being blind? I shudder
Casual, i can't be casual. Not with you never
Seeing myself drowning i gasp for my breath
Should have gone away i tell myself
Now i dont know what to hold onto
Your honest talks which shatter my hopes everyday
Or your soothing breaths, which calms my chaotic self

I don't know to be honest
I don't know whether you will ever love me
I don't know whether you and i, we will ever be us
I don't know whether the path i will be taking will leave me on a juncture alone
Or whether i will find you
My undiluted unhinged hopes.

-

Why is it that whom we love never loves us and who loves us we never love?
Why is it we fumble in loops where looking back we see people whom we left
And ahead, people who left us?

Why is it so difficult to be on the same page with someone where colours are all hearts
Rather than crying tears writing unwritten scars?

Why is it that our wish to leave such conundrums never comes true
And we are forced to live it in present knowing full well it's not going to end in our wishful hopes?

But we hope, don't we
We wait
Maybe its the waiting in dread which eventually kills the soft inside
Makes us stop believing in any good that may happen to us
Makes us question every laugh that comes our way
Forcing ourselves to take a step back and defend our vulnerable bay

For we so ardently believe in the notion "we dont deserve to be loved at all, we dont deserve to be happy
Just be hurt in this stay ".
So we wish to run, run far away
leaving all untied knots before they become real
Too real to be good in this realm
Cause we dont deserve happiness, we never did, and probably that's the end

-

You know what I want,
I want someone to love me, whatever his way be
maybe he loves shyly, maybe in a loud way
But if that person loves me, I'll give that person my all,

I want him to worry about me
I want to do stupid things and he rectifies it
I want to pamper him, be babied by him.
But not think I'm immature, cause god forbid i am by writing this piece

I want someone mature, you know
who loves only me.
Someone who will make me feel safe
someone who won't leave my hand ever
And I'll be his forever, i promise
explore the world together, fight the world together. not among ourselves.

Being with him would feel like home, wherever we are
Whose mere presence would calm the uncertainty, the storm inside
And then when I'd do stupid things for him, he'd keep them like souvenirs.
Silly innit? One can hope

Being a vagabond, with him being my anchor
I'd float in arizona coming back to him each time
He would know I'm his and he's mine, no questions asked, no drama in line

I hope he finds me. I hope he makes me his
I hope when he comes to me, I recognise his presence
And he recognises mine, giving meaning to my vessel

-

What's up with this night
Calm and serene
Brewing storm inside
As restless hours slip into nothingness
As each breath start to make sense

Night, soothing night
Good that you ride with a veil measuring miles
Swallowing all the jitters all the morosity of today
Letting cool breeze wander uninhibited
Letting creases relax for a while

As eyes wait for slumber to come by
Just wishing, hey night
May tomorrow be better than today

-

Wolf was running, running upstream
Down the hills and valleys
His heart was brimming, eyes were shining
The moon would be his finally

He had dreamt of moon
Caressed it in his naked mind
And now he was running to claim his luck
For he knew moon was his and only his and would be his at last

He had scintillating dreams, of starry wings
Moon perched on her back
She would call his name, angels rocking the swing
Laced below the silvery stars

Dawn would come, so would sun
But wolf looked forward to the night
It was then that moon would shine and call
Seeming close yet so far from his arms

On the sand he would draw
With his sculpted paws, nails fanning out
The perfect moon with her little moles
He would draw it all

He was no longer caged, was free to run, run to chase his dreams
And left he had his past life, with a promise of return
The last he saw was brimming tears, a muffled squeak he couldn't comprehend
And wolf couldn't let go of that last squeak, amidst all the voices he had preserved

-

The night ended, birds were chirping
Wind was whirling all around
A deep dark pit in squirrel's heart
For she had succumbed to the darkness in her heart

Tears swirled in her eyes, kept welling up unattended
She couldn't understand the pain
For she had loved with all her heart; couldn't tell
As wolf decided to drift away

With cloudy eyes and hiccups to quell
She fumbled on her tiny toes
Reached the river splashed her body
And cried hiding her sobs

Hours passed by, then days and weeks
Every sound seem numbed around
Green looked gray, and red she saw
In every foray she went

Was it a dream, another life?
When wolf had taken her for a run
Perched on his head like a mighty beast
Had they or had they not ruled the jungle?

Screaming she woke
Ruffled her covers, wolf, wolf are you here!
When no sound came to soothe her heart
Squirrel knew then, wolf wasn't coming back and accepted it with a tear

-

Why was religion founded I mused
How did we humans come to worship and bow
Was it bore out of fear of the unknown
Or the result of binding mortals to their duties and chores?

-

Tried so hard got so far
Now they are pulling us back
Drove away imperialists
Couldn't get the animosity out

I try reading the texts
Their words ring in my ears
Their failure when they were divided
Their triumph is what we live for

They banned agitations centuries back
They are muting us again, pack of the same sack
Muslims and Hindus, Hindus and muslims they say
Slashing anyone and everyone who dares to protest

I wonder what it would be
If we haven't traded the path we chose
Years ago we took an oath
I just hope that oath stays unmutilated

Again I'll have to go back to the past
Relive their joy their hard fought war
Will have to jot down the how and why and when
Knowing somewhere above
They are watching us teary eyed. ashamed?
Hope not

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